I had some friends from one of my previous parishes come for a visit not too long ago. In part of the conversation, one of them said, "You know, I got married, not in a state of grace. On my wedding day, I was not in a state of grace." This person said that.

And I said, "Well, tell me about that."

She goes, "Well, I went to confession the day before, but I felt like I wasn't in a state of grace the day I got married."

And I said, "Well, that doesn't sound right. Tell me about that."

And the person said that they had gone to confession the day before the wedding and at that confession, the priest yelled at them.

And I said, "Well, that's unfortunate. That's certainly bad pastoral practice." Right? We try not to do that too much. And so I said, "Well, okay, but you confessed and you got absolution."

"Yes."

"So then you are forgiven and unless you had gone out and done some terrible thing, you were in a state of grace the day you got married."

"Well, I didn't feel like I was. I didn't feel like I was. And I've been carrying this with me all these years that I somehow, because I wasn't in a state of grace the day I got married, that something's wrong. You know?"

And I said, "Boy, what a terrible thing to carry and how unnecessary?" And I tried to explain that you're forgiven, and even though the priest was a jerk, Jesus was there and He took care of it. So you've got to let this go.

She goes, "But I don't feel-"

I said, "No, that's the problem."

I said your feelings don't matter. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's not about our feelings, for sure. Our feelings are the first things that betray us. How often do we make things about how we feel? And this person, for all these years, felt like that day, they missed out on something important in their marriage, because they felt like they had not been forgiven. Sacraments don't work that way. It isn't about your feelings. So, we go, “Oh, I didn't feel like I got confirmed.” Well, guess what, you did. It has nothing to do with your feelings.

One of the moms in the parish came up to me recently and said, "You know, I'm a terrible mother, a terrible mom."

So I said, "No, why do you say that?"

"Well, because I yell at my kids a lot."

Oh my gosh! Our parish is filled with terrible moms, right? I got yelled at every single day of my childhood, you know? I said, "No, stop that. Do your kids know that you love them?"

"Well, yeah."

I said, "Okay, you're doing a good job. You know, yelling is sometimes even a form of love, right? So you love your kids a lot and they know it. So you're doing a good job."

"But I feel-"

"Stop it. It's not about your feelings. That's not how it works."

It's very important, what Jesus is trying to teach us today. He's telling us to get over ourselves. It's not about you. It's about the Lord and our lives and what he's trying to do.

It's two problems, and we're all guilty of probably both. The first problem, is like this person who all these years felt as though there was a defect in the marriage because they didn't feel as though they had been forgiven. And because of that, this person spent a lot of time and many a year defining themselves and that marriage by a failure, even a sin.

Let me ask you this. Does Jesus know you by your sins? Everybody should be nodding "no." Jesus, when He looks at you, doesn't see your sin, ever. He doesn't define you by that at all. He looks at you and he sees Himself, as the preface says, that God might see and love in us what he sees and loves in his Son, Jesus. Now, does he see that sometimes we're not quite up to snuff? Yeah, but that just is like, “I love you and I want the best for you.” Jesus looks at us and what does he see? He sees love. He loves you. He doesn't see your sin. So stop it. Knock it off.

You know what that is when we think, oh, if people really knew who I was and what I've done, they wouldn't love me. They'd walk away. They'd make fun of me. They'd gossip. Stop it. That's not how it works in the spiritual life. That is pride. When you think that, that's spiritual pride, that somehow you are so different than everybody else, that your sins are so big that even God cannot forgive them, or won't, that's ridiculous. And it's sinful and it's pride, all right? So stop it. That valley of our spiritual misery, as Baruch says, "You have put on the garment of misery, take it off. Let the Lord fill in that, 'Oh, woe is me valley' and raise it up." Let Him do it.

All right now, the other one that we're guilty of is that mountain of pride, where we think, you know what, I've got it all going on. I'm great. I don't need any help. I got my money. I got my family. I got my clothes, my job, whatever it is that we think it protects us from having to live in the real world. We do that. Jesus, I love you. And you're awesome, but I don't need you right now. I'll call you if I need anything. That kind of thing, that’s the mountain of our pride.

So, bring it down. Let the Lord bring it down. Our little pity party, raise it up. Our little mountain pride, bring it down. Level, straight path into the arms of Jesus, who is love. See, God gave us the only thing we need, which is the best thing He could have given us, which is Jesus, and He did that because He loves you. And for our part, see, don't think for a second, just because I'm saying stop it, I'm letting you off the hook because of your sins, because St. Charles has got lots of sinners, right? We're all here. Myself included. Nobody gets a pass on that.

But the challenge for us during the season of Advent is to say I'm worthy of having my sins forgiven. I am worthy of meeting Jesus in the sacrament of confession so He might take my sins away. I am worthy not to define myself by the things that I've done wrong. I am worthy that Jesus might take all those things away from me and give me back His love so that I can live in the freedom of the children of God. I am worthy of that, but I have to do it. I have to go to confession. There shouldn't be a person here, who comes to celebrate the baby Jesus on Christmas Day, who hasn't gone to see Jesus in the confessional first. That's why we have it every day. Because it's a gift to have Jesus come to you and love you and take your sins away and in place of those sins to place his life and it's fullness.

Wow, you deserve that. He wants you to have that. So give that to yourself. Take off your garment of misery, your out of place, spiritual pity party or your monstrous mount pride. Take off that garment of misery and put on your garment of baptism, the garment of joy that leads you on that straight path, right into the arms of Jesus. All right.

Imagine walking around thinking all the time that you got to hide something because you think your sins are so big that even Jesus wouldn't love you or forgive you. Stop it, stop it. Imagine being so prideful that you think that you don't need Jesus because you've got it all going on and it's all about you. Guess what? It's not about you and it's not about your feelings. So, stop it. So that we might hear those same words of Paul, that I am confident of this, that the one who began the good work and you will bring into a happy and joyful completion.